Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Step 9: Make Amends to People You’ve Harmed
Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-Step program designed to help participants achieve and maintain sobriety by attending regular meetings and working through each of the 12 Steps in sequence. Here, we’ll explore Step 9 of AA, how to complete this step, how to find a 12-Step recovery support group, and how you can find a treatment program that meets your needs.
What Is Step 9 of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)?
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”1
Step 9 of AA calls upon members to let go of their ego and embrace humility as they work to appropriately address and take accountability for their past wrongdoings to others.2 This step is notoriously difficult for a number of reasons, however mostly because it requires members to confront the harm they have caused others as a result of their alcohol addiction.
This Step includes an important caveat for members – carefully examine if the full revelation of the situation would cause harm to the one amends are being made to. This does not mean that members are to never share the situations that may potentially hurt a loved one, but instead understand that doing so too early in recovery (and without the proper tools) can damage the relationship even further.
What Is the Purpose of Step 9 of AA?
The purpose of Step 9 of AA is twofold: it provides the opportunity to both examine your past behaviors and to repair relationships. Community support can be an important pillar of sobriety for many. By repairing relationships, you aren’t only helping others—you’re also providing yourself with the chance to regain family and friends who may otherwise have been lost due to actions taken during your active addiction.
How to Complete Step 9 of AA
Completing Step 9 of AA is a highly personal process that can look different for everyone. It is important to take your time and be intentional with your actions while working this Step.
Some ways that you can complete step 9 of AA include the following:
- Avoid arguing. Addiction is almost always coupled with lies. While making amends, it’s normal to be met with resistance from others due to a past dissolution of trust. There’s no need to argue if you’re met with resistance—simply reiterating that you regret your actions and no longer participate in the behaviors that caused the actions can go a long way.
- Be ready to listen. A willingness to listen can help to repair relationships. When you apologize to people you care about, they may feel that they can open up to you about how your actions have affected their lives. Listen carefully and continue to take responsibility.
- Talk about change. Talking about the changes you’ve made may help others see that you’re sincere. Sharing the fact that you’ve completed treatment, are attending meetings, have a sponsor, or are taking other steps to maintain your sobriety can help restore trust.
- Make physical amends. When you can, work to make it right. For example, replacing a damaged item, paying back debts, and completing tasks that you committed to can all help.
How Step 9 of AA Fits Into Your Recovery Journey
To complete Step 9 of AA, it’s vital that you complete Step 8 of AA, which requires you to identify those you have harmed while your alcohol addiction was occurring.2 Once you have made a list of who it is that you need to make amends to, you can begin to put Step 9 into action.
After you complete Step 9, you’ll move on to Step 10 of AA, where you will work to take prompt accountability for any future wrongdoings, all while continuing to take personal inventory on oneself.1
How to Find a 12-Step AA Program
You can find a 12-step program by downloading the AA Meeting Guide app, which connects you to more than 100,000 meetings in person and online. Additionally, you can search for virtual AA meetings by visiting the AA Online Intergroup page. Even simply searching “AA meetings near me” in your web browser can pull up state or local websites with lists of various nearby meetings.
Start Your Recovery
If you’re ready to begin the process of recovery, we’re here to help. There are a wide variety of treatment options, including medical detox, inpatient treatment, outpatient programs (including intensive outpatient programs and partial hospitalization programs), sober living, and aftercare programs.
Find out more by contacting a qualified rehab center today! Use our rehab directory tool to find a rehab that meets your needs.