Bodies, Binges and Your Ego’s Big Lie

If you live in fear about the size of your body, the next weigh in on the bathroom scale, are obsessed with your daily calorie burn, or are consumed with regret over late night refrigerator raids, you are not alone.

Day in and day out I see men, women, and children with similar concerns. Often by the time someone walks through the door of my office, they have spent months or years agonizing over what is supposed to be a basic human function—eating.

Somehow it’s all gotten twisted.

To some extent, don’t we all feel challenged when it comes to making sane food choices? It is impossible to avoid the deluge of information—often conflicting—we hear about what we should and should not eat, when we should eat, how we should eat and so on. All these shoulds can lead even the most zen among us to toss up our arms in despair and dive head first into the cookie jar.

What if there were another way to be in the world of food? A way to decide how, when, and what to eat that was devoid of anxiety and fear and full of pleasure and self trust? Wouldn’t you take it in a second?

I’m here to tell you there is another way. It is a path toward physical health and well being that is devoid of stress and struggle and full of freedom, while still allowing you to fit into your favorite jeans.

First, I’m here to tell you your body is already perfect, just the way it is. “No, no, you don’t understand,” you say. “I have gained 15 pounds in the past year, I weigh 30 pounds more than I weighed when I finished college, and that was already 10 pounds more than when I graduated from high school,” and so on.

“No, no, you don’t understand,” you say. “I have gained 15 pounds in the past year, I weigh 30 pounds more than I weighed when I finished college…”

Believe me, I get it.

I know what pressure is. I know how important it can feel to fit in, to look good, and to feel confident. I’m also here to tell you that no diet or food regime, no clothing size or number on the scale will really give you what you’re looking for—self love. Looking and feeling good is truly an inside job.

But, you say, “I agree. And I will love myself as soon as I lose those last 10 pounds. I will feel confident, powerful, and all will be well in my life. Then I will love myself.” I’m here to tell you that the only way to keep those 10 pounds off for good is to start from a place of self love and self acceptance. Otherwise, any eating plan you follow will be only a temporary fix, until you fall of the wagon again and are back to square one.

The ego’s big lie is that you are not good enough as you are and will not ever be until you reach your dream size. This lie makes you put off living your life now until some future date after you have attained your goal. This robs you of the present moment—the only time that you really have. Do you get what I’m saying here?

If change comes from a place of self loathing—from the fear driven voice of the ego—it reinforces the idea that you are less than, not good enough, and unlovable until you look a certain way.-Dr. Joy Jacobs

If change comes from a place of self loathing—from the fear driven voice of the ego—it reinforces the idea that you are less than, not good enough, and unlovable until you look a certain way. Who wouldn’t want to binge feeling like that? It’s difficult to lose weight and get healthy when you’re bingeing your brains out.

In contrast, when you operate from a mindset of self love, you are actually able to choose to nourish your body in the best way possible and move your body from a place of self acceptance and peace (instead of raiding the pantry to numb out from the overwhelming feelings of self hatred and disgust).

Self love means choosing food because it means taking care of yourself well, feeding your body what it needs to heal and repair, and providing your spirit with the life force it needs to enjoy this beautiful life you’ve been given. You would be surprised how easily life flows when self love is its foundation.

So, for today, I ask you, no matter how dissatisfied you may feel with your body, shower your beautiful body with gratitude. Thank it for serving you, sheltering your beautiful spirit, and allowing you to experience your life fully. Write down that list of thank you’s and share it with me in the comments below. This is your first step on the journey to self love (and maybe the body of your dreams). This may just be the most thrilling and truly fulfilling adventure of your life.
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