How Body Shaming Keeps You Overweight, Plus 3 Unconventional Ways to Release That Weight

As children, we never once questioned our worth; we never questioned our ability to thrive, play, expand and grow – we simply lived in the moment, squeezing everything out of life. We manifested our desires with such certainty, we decided we wanted something, may that be a freshly baked cookie Mom made or a new bike. As children, we were incredible at obtaining that of which we wanted into our lives – there was no doubt or fear.

Somewhere along the line, we have forgotten we have this superpower so beautifully innate without our souls – we have forgotten that we are deserving of every miracle this universe is capable of delivering. Once upon a time, we never questioned our worth and today the topic of self-worthiness seems to linger around most conversations, especially pertaining to becoming higher versions of ourselves. If we want a new job, if we can to start dating again, attract more money or have a stronger body, the first thing thought is ‘am I worthy?’.

Our Physical Bodies

Let’s talk about bodies for a moment, particularly bodies that are overweight. Physical weight on the body is a representation of emotional weight we are carrying. The weight on our bodies was manufactured from a place of fear, self-hatred and self-violence.

When I say self-violence, I am particularly referring to overeating, eating past our need, which is an act of violence towards our body. We overeat because we are deprived in other areas of our lives. We feel the need to overcompensate for what we are not giving ourselves emotionally, self-love for instance.

When we deprive ourselves of love, compassion, empathy or basic nurturing, we need to meet that need. Food, for most people, is the easiest place to find it.

This was my story; this was my life. I used food to numb the emotion I wasn’t yet prepared to feel. Eating a brownie was much easier than admitting I had suppressed pain I needed to deal with. I was craving a state change, a shift, a band-aid on a bullet wound. I found that answer in food. And when my guilt outweighed my need to numb emotion, I would heavily restrict my diet. It was a constant and vicious pendulum swinging from one extreme to the next. There was no happy medium, no sweet spot. I had no idea how to ‘eat like a normal person’ or love my body.

We crave the love we didn’t receive from our Mothers or Fathers and we desperately search for it in a bag of Doritos…only to find that demolishing a bag of Doritos may change our state momentarily, but doesn’t address the root emotional void of feeling lonely, lost and lacking love. The weight on our bodies is simply a presentation the compound effect of these situations happening over the duration of, perhaps, a few decades.

Looking in the Mirror

When we look in the mirror and see a ‘flawed’ body, we start to shudder at the sight. We become obsessed and set our on a quest to ‘fix’ the broken parts that were manufactured by the fears we had in our minds. It wasn’t your body’s choice to eat the entire bag of Doritos in one sitting; it was the decisions of your mind – your mind decided that the pain you were feeling couldn’t be managed using internal solutions, so it was easier to launch for the bag of Doritos. The aftermath of these behaviors generally results in a paralyzing amount of shame and guilt, which adds more leverage and more self-destruction to our emotional landscape.

We are socially conditioned to have a fear-based approach to weight loss; it’s how the diet industry has conditioned us. There is always another shake, another pill, one more cleanse, something to finally drop all this weight off our bodies that have been so stagnant for so long. And here is the issue: Dieting is rooted in fear, which means we are essentially using fear to ‘fix’ something that was initially created in fear. This simply doesn’t work, which is why when we diet we end up gaining all the weight back plus more once decide the work of a diet is too much to handle. We need to use the force of love in order to transcend the hate we feel for our bodies and the shame we feel for our actions.

This isn’t some ‘hippy woo-hoo’ fluff; this isn’t something that requires the power of positive thinking. This is about fundamental shifting the energetic field that resides within you in order to release the emotional weight you are carrying…then to release the physical weight.

3 Ways to Release Weight

There are three things we need to embody and practice in order to release the weight on our bodies from a place of love which creates sustainable transformation. This isn’t about putting bandaids on bullet wounds. This is about creating holistic, long-term results.

• Acceptance – In order to transform your mind and body with love, it requires full acceptance of where you’re at, right at this moment, no matter what weight you are. Being able to look in the mirror, fully naked, and see the beauty – knowing that you are ready to release the emotional and physical weight is where we must start.
• Trust – After a history of dieting, finding trust can sometimes be a tricky mission. It’s not about trusting the ‘ego’ or the ‘personality,’ but trusting the soul. The deeper part of you. The ego has been the one running the show lately, the one forcing you on diets and operating from a place of fear. It’s time to tap into the soul, listen to your body and your intuition for within that place lies all the answers. You find this place by shutting down the world, creating space and listening. It’s all there for you, so beautiful innate within each of us.
• Movement – Our bodies crave movement. Our bodies were fundamentally designed to stretch, sweat, play and grow. Movement from a place of love and not force is essential in deconstructing the structure of ‘exercise as punishment’ that we are all so familiar with. Listening to your body and moving in accordance to its needs is a beautiful act of self-love.