How Logic Without Integration Will Create Chaos
One of the biggest sticking points in personal development is awareness without integration. When we logically know that our behaviours are destructive and we continue to do them, it creates an intense amount of inner self-guilt and frustration.
The root of this frustration is not actively integrating the concepts into our bodies – it’s not enough to just ‘know’ them, we need to rewire the makeup of our bodies to shift into the new way of being. This new way of being is a shock for the ego, but second nature to the body. For instance, eating intuitively is one of the most natural things we can do as humans, yet somewhere along the line, this practice has been distorted. It’s now our responsibility to re-teach ourselves the concepts we’ve forgotten.
The beauty in this process is that, once we quiet down the ego and practice these skills, our bodies already know how to support us in the integration process – it’s how each of us are designed. The issue is that sometimes getting past the ego creates a block and you never fully integrate the lesson. We need to know that on the other side of the bold ego that loves the resistance and disconnection lies the being.
True integration takes a lot of moment-to-moment awareness. We need to be careful not to keep reinforcing old patterns we have learned along the way. It’s a process of taking responsibility for the patterns of learned struggle and getting back to the being. Your ego will put up a fight against this – the ego loves separation, it quite frankly thrives off it. The being, however, loves connection. Be prepared to deal with the ego as you navigate these new grounds; be kind to it, but don’t succumb to it just because it’s comfortable.
My Healing Process
During my healing process, I needed to treat every new skill as brand new information. Although my mind had heard some of these concepts, my body had no idea how to use them for my healing. I could have sworn if I heard the words ‘be present’ one more time from another spiritual teacher, I was going to b-line right out of the room.
Something I came to realize was that the idea of being present was something I was encouraged to do and knew all about, however, I never once actually integrated this practice into my life to create change. I was terrified of being present because that meant I had to feel my feelings…the very things I’d been running from for most of my life.
Once I got over myself, I made a commitment to treat everything as brand new information. It wasn’t my mind that was getting the lesson this time, it was my body. It was a new way of being; I had the privilege of introducing my body to see changes. I embodied a new and profound curiosity for the lessons I was learning and focused on the work, rather than the progress. Byron Kate says in her book Loving What Is that ‘Progress is not my business.’ I was so caught up in trying to get to the next concept that I missed valuable lessons in the work I bypassed as “useless” or seemingly insignificant. When I changed how I approached the lessons, everything changed. It wasn’t new information, but how I responded and integrated the information was completely different.
We live in a time where we are constant consumers; we over-consume on everything – even information. In terms of healing, this has put us in a state of analysis paralysis and we halt our learning due to information overload. When we can take a step back, consume less, and integrate more, we are able to approach healing in a moment-to-moment matter where we have the opportunity to fully embrace the teachings and change the blueprint of our bodies.
Curiosity is the saviour of resistance; when we can learn to be curious about the lessons and get excited about how they can serve us, we are in a position to have personal inquiry. Without it, we’re stuck.
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