Who Should You Trust in Recovery?
Trust: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone.
Do you know anyone who is reliable? Honest? Capable? Strong? Are you feeling trustworthy yourself?
If you’re in recovery, you’ve probably encountered situations that have shattered trust. Others have let you down. You’ve let them down. But here’s the thing: As you work through the recovery process, you relive and rehash some of the most vulnerable moments of your life…and that’s when you need trustworthy people the most.
Building a Circle of Trust
So, how do you go about finding trustworthy people in recovery and work on building those relationships? It starts with healthy boundaries, some emotional risk, and steady investment in trust-building.
- Trustworthy Fences
It’s essential to find people you can trust. They provide the support you need during the hard times. It’s also essential to set some boundaries. You need to share your struggles, but you don’t need to share all the details with everyone. It’s okay to limit what you say in meetings. All your co-workers don’t need to know the ins and outs of your broken marriage. Being open is healthy, but over-sharing with those who may not have your best interests at heart isn’t helpful.
- Trustworthy Bridges
Now it’s time to find those trustworthy individuals. One will be your sponsor. This should be someone who has demonstrated they are in a solid place in recovery and will be a good mentor for you. You should be able to share all your thoughts, memories, and intimate details with them. Another member of your circle could be a therapist. In addition to these two, find two or three friends to surround you. It helps if they’re also in recovery, but definitely don’t choose anyone who’s not currently sober. You need people to provide healthy influence and advice.
- Trustworthy Investments
Even after you’ve found a select few to trust, it’s still a challenge. You have to be vulnerable with them. You have to rebuild trust in yourself, too. Maintaining healthy relationships requires regularly investing in yourself and in them. It involves give and take, as you share and receive support and counsel. If you’ve been burned badly in the past, the process can be even harder. It takes time, but slowly you can learn to rebuild what’s been broken. You can invest in trust and learn how to invest in those who are worthy of it.